a snippet from a conversation with a friend that’s still ringing with me: when you’re young, say 14-22, it’s hard to properly imagine how your existing social reality is going to change. you may feel a sense of loyalty to your friends, such that the idea going out and seeking new friends can seem like a kind of betrayal.
In practice, hardly anybody even really puts words to these vague, subtle feelings. it’s only after years of drift and loss and grief that you (may) begin to loosen your subconscious grip on what you had held together as immutable about your reality. While painful, the destruction of this order creates the opportunity for something new. New imaginings, new possibilities, new ways of being, new ways to relate to people, new people to relate to.
Not many people really articulate this either, so a lot of people are living amidst layers of emotional debris… I’m drifting here though… what I really wanted to get to was, a sudden striking sense I got as to why “seek excellent peers” doesn’t always resonate all the way through for everyone. It’s at least partially because the idea of consciously seeking new peers seems mercenary to people. This perspective changes as one lives through change and witnesses the ebb and flow of all things.
Gently focusing on what you genuinely want, slowly reveals itself to be an earnestly loving way of being. Time and tide will tell.
2023-12-05 · 1,315 likes · 118 retweets · 666 bookmarks · View on X